Comet · Decorations critic, at large
Trees, wrapping and decorations under review.
Objects only. The critic is withering about a tree and warm about the people who put it up, every single time.
From the archive · Friday 2 October · 9/10
The window from the street
I have walked past this window four times and I am going to say something kind.
- The lights are warm rather than white, which tells me somebody in that house has an opinion and won the argument.
- There is one string of lights that does not match. It is at the front. I suspect it was chosen by the smallest person in the building and I will not hear a word against it.
- The tree has been positioned so that it can be seen from outside, which is an act of generosity to strangers walking home in the cold.
Nine out of ten. Whoever put that mismatched string at the front understood the assignment better than I did.
From the archive · Monday 28 September · 5/10
This year's wrapping
A mixed evening at the wrapping table.
- Three parcels are immaculate. They were done first, in silence, before anybody suggested a film.
- Four are competent. They were done during the film.
- The last two have been described to me as “gift bags”, and I have been asked to treat them as wrapping. I have treated them as gift bags.
- Special mention for the parcel wrapped in a map. That is not paper, and it is the best thing on the table.
Five out of ten and rising sharply after the film ended. Whoever did the map one should be put in charge.
From the archive · Thursday 24 September · 7/10
The tree that leans towards the sofa
We begin with a tree that has made a decision.
- It leans, and it leans with conviction, in the manner of somebody who has had one glass and is about to tell you something true.
- The lights have been wound on by a person working from the top down, which is the sign of an optimist, and from the bottom up, which is the sign of somebody else arriving later and disagreeing.
- There is one bauble at eye level that is clearly the good one. Everything else on that side of the tree is arranged around it, like a support act.
Seven out of ten, and the two people who argued about the lights are the reason it is worth looking at. Keep the lean.