Filed up to Saturday 14 November
North Pole Incident Log
Everything the building is prepared to admit to, in the order it happened.
From the North Pole
Today’s dispatch, and what came before it.
bureaucracy · Saturday 14 November
Gift-Tag Seminar
The seminar on concise gift tags has reached page seventeen.
Filed by Mabel Quill.
logistics · Friday 13 November
Reindeer Roundabout
The practice route includes a roundabout made entirely of spare wreaths. Traffic is unusually decorative.
Filed by Juniper Bell.
characters · Wednesday 11 November
Starring Bramble
Bramble's rehearsal schedule contains entrances but no exits.
Filed by Bramble.
office · Monday 9 November
The Cushion Briefing
Santa's cushion absorbed the whole briefing without interruption. Its grasp of logistics remains unclear.
Filed by Pip Snow.office · Sunday 8 November
Santa's Spare Pen
Santa's spare pen has written a request for a spare pen. Nobody admits dictating it.
Filed by Mabel Quill.logistics · Saturday 7 November
The Quiet Bell
A bell labelled For Quiet Announcements has entered an identity discussion.
Filed by Mabel Quill.
weather · Friday 6 November
Localised Blizzard
Pip shook a snow globe during the forecast. Juniper has requested editorial independence.
Filed by Juniper Bell.bureaucracy · Wednesday 4 November
The Second First Draft
Bramble submitted Final Final Absolutely Final. It contains a title.
Filed by Bramble.
wrapping · Monday 2 November
Ribbon Accumulation
The wrapping desk has made one bow large enough to qualify as a waiting area.
Filed by Mabel Quill.logistics · Sunday 1 November
The North Entrance
The North Entrance sign is on the south door. Visitors report feeling geographically festive.
Filed by Juniper Bell.
Earlier filings
Navigation · From the archive · Sunday 4 October
Route markers confirmed for the season
Rooftops, chimneys, windows and balconies — in that order — have been confirmed as this season's approach.
The order has not changed since 1908 and is reviewed annually so that everybody feels consulted.
Filed by Juniper Bell, North Pole News correspondent and Quiet Delivery rooftop guide.Choir · From the archive · Saturday 3 October
Choir re-seated after goat incident
A goat placed in the middle of the sopranos has been moved to the third row, where he is described as “audible but contained”.
The choir will perform as planned. Bramble has asked for a solo and been told the matter is under review.
Filed by Mabel Quill, Keeper of the Official Record; casting clerk and presiding officer of pretend Court.Returns · From the archive · Friday 2 October
Returns desk clears a record backlog
Four trays of returns were cleared in a single morning: wrong house, wrong size, wrong year and wrong colour, in that order.
The wrong-year tray contained one item posted in 2019, which has been delivered with an apology and a small amount of ceremony.
Filed by Juniper Bell, North Pole News correspondent and Quiet Delivery rooftop guide.Stores · From the archive · Thursday 1 October
Stores re-labelled after fourteen years
The spare-parts drawers have been re-labelled to say what is in them, ending a system in which the labels described what used to be in them.
The oldest label read “bell clappers (temporary)” and was applied in 2012.
Filed by Pip Snow, Public defender of festive absurdity and Sleigh Shift dispatch companion.Illumination · From the archive · Wednesday 30 September
Lantern audit finds every lantern in the wrong place
All four lanterns along the front were found on the wrong hooks after cleaning. The order has since been corrected twice, in two different directions.
Illumination has asked that the lanterns be left alone now.
Filed by Mabel Quill, Keeper of the Official Record; casting clerk and presiding officer of pretend Court.Logistics · From the archive · Tuesday 29 September
Night-shift rota disputed and re-drawn
Two members of staff swapped the same shift with each other in opposite directions, leaving midnight covered twice and eleven o'clock covered by a goat.
The rota has been re-drawn by a family in another country who were, frankly, faster than the office.
Filed by Pip Snow, Public defender of festive absurdity and Sleigh Shift dispatch companion.Logistics · From the archive · Monday 28 September
Bramble promoted, briefly
Bramble was made acting Head of Runner Inspection at 09:00 and returned to his previous duties at 09:40.
In his statement Bramble said the role had been “a triumph for Bramble” and declined to comment on the forty minutes themselves.
Filed by Juniper Bell, North Pole News correspondent and Quiet Delivery rooftop guide.Logistics · From the archive · Sunday 27 September
Sleigh polish rationed until Thursday
A supply issue has put the good polish on ration. Departments have been asked to shine only the parts that face outwards, which is, in the view of this desk, how most things get done here.
Logistics expects normal service by Thursday and has asked everyone to stop asking about it until then.
Filed by Pip Snow, Public defender of festive absurdity and Sleigh Shift dispatch companion.Post · From the archive · Saturday 26 September
Letters arriving early for the third year running
Post volumes are up on this date last year, with the first letters from six countries already sorted.
One arrived addressed only to “the man with the list”, which the sorting office accepted without comment and delivered in four minutes.
Filed by Juniper Bell, North Pole News correspondent and Quiet Delivery rooftop guide.Compliance · From the archive · Friday 25 September
Compliance opens the season with a warning about tinsel
The Chief Compliance Elf has reminded all departments that tinsel is decorative and not, under any circumstances, structural.
The reminder follows an incident in Illumination which the office describes as “resolved, and never to be repeated in that particular way”.
Filed by Mabel Quill, Keeper of the Official Record; casting clerk and presiding officer of pretend Court.Catering · From the archive · Thursday 24 September
Cocoa pressure restored after fourteen-minute outage
The urn on the second floor lost pressure shortly after the night shift began. Service was restored by an intern who turned it off and on again and then filed three forms about it.
No cocoa was lost. Two mugs were described as “thin” and have been replaced without argument.
Filed by Pip Snow, Public defender of festive absurdity and Sleigh Shift dispatch companion.Wrapping · From the archive · Wednesday 23 September
Goat located in the wrapping hall
At 04:12 a goat was found in the wrapping hall with approximately nine metres of ribbon and no explanation.
The ribbon has been recovered. The goat has been recovered. The bow tied during the incident has been photographed for the record and is, reluctantly, quite good.
Filed by Pip Snow, Public defender of festive absurdity and Sleigh Shift dispatch companion.