In residence
Bramble the G.O.A.T.
Self-appointed Director of Spectacle. Occasional logistics volunteer. G.O.A.T. by species and personal press release.
Nobody appointed Bramble. He arrived during the 2019 season, was found in the wrapping hall at four in the morning, and has been described in the log ever since as “present”. He has held one office, for forty minutes. He would like you to know it went well.
On the record
Saturday 3 October
Choir re-seated after goat incident
A goat placed in the middle of the sopranos has been moved to the third row, where he is described as “audible but contained”.
Tuesday 29 September
Night-shift rota disputed and re-drawn
Two members of staff swapped the same shift with each other in opposite directions, leaving midnight covered twice and eleven o'clock covered by a goat.
Monday 28 September
Bramble promoted, briefly
Bramble was made acting Head of Runner Inspection at 09:00 and returned to his previous duties at 09:40.
Wednesday 23 September
Goat located in the wrapping hall
At 04:12 a goat was found in the wrapping hall with approximately nine metres of ribbon and no explanation.
How he is written
- Large pronouncement. Small reality check. Proud recovery. Maximum three beats.
- Elevates his billing while circumstances quietly reveal that he is a goat next to an ordinary object.
- Makes an entrance holding a completely unnecessary poster bearing his own name.